Why Ruin a Special Event?

Here's something I wrote that was originally posted on my writer's community message board:

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Maybe some of you who work for, aspire to work for, or who attend public schools can address this for me.

My daughter left high school on the second day this year to go back to homeschooling. Her friends attend the high school.

Its a very small town - everyone knows everyone just about. About 1200 people live here.

So my daughter's friends tried to get a pass for her to attend the school's "Winter Formal" dance tonight. The principal said my child couldn't attend because she's homeschooled. I thought that's rather selfish of him to exclude her though she's willing to pay the five dollars to get in.

Meanwhile her friends got in trouble at school and they were excluded from the dance too. One was suspended and the other had a detention she didn't attend. I think its terrible that they have an event as special as the Winter Formal ... then use it as a behavior modification tool. It doesn't seem right to me to exclude people... sort of like most people wouldn't punish a child by not giving them birthday or Christmas presents.

When my child attended school there were lots of field trips ... she never once was allowed to attend one because her behavior never made the grade. When I took her out of school in 3rd grade, to homeschool, I remember telling the counselor that we were going to Marine World Africa USA the next week and the woman told me that she recommended I not include my child on the outing because of her bad behavior! I thought that was appalling...

What message are we giving to children... to me it sounds like "you're not good enough". I don't think this is an effective behavior modification for children with problematic behaviors. It seems like just another self-esteem breaker to me.

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  ¶ 9:38 PM